


oh, no, i really shouldn’t stay.

by 3days



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Hyunlix, M/M, Mediaeval AU, Mutual Pining, Prince!Felix, Soft Boys, garden worker!hyunjin, hyunlix r lowkey whipped for each other, i suck at tags :/, prince AU, stan 3racha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-23
Updated: 2018-11-23
Packaged: 2019-08-28 09:12:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16720506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3days/pseuds/3days
Summary: “And I don’t want him to throw you out, or hurt you.” This is a fear that’s manifested in Hyunjin since their meetings started a year ago. Sneaking in and out of their rooms to meet each other, he figured it’s inevitable that one day they’d reap what they’ve sown.“He won’t, I promise.” Felix draws a Z on Hyunjin’s chest. “I’ll slip back into my room before he wakes. I already asked Valentine to wake me mid night so I can sneak back.”“Okay,” Hyunjin pulls him just a tiny bit closer. “Okay.”





	oh, no, i really shouldn’t stay.

**Author's Note:**

> oakjoi - vas 
> 
> the inevitable [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/deanttbrl/playlist/7f9D71s9IVlUv8shDYlEXK?si=52eKSez0T-u46nfnN4CqzA) for those of u who like bgm!!

Hyunjin is fourteen when he’s found on the forest floor by a boy with fiery orange hair. He doesn’t remember  _ how _ he got in the position he is now, lying next to an oak tree out of breath and tired, all he remembers is running so fast it felt like his lungs were full of the rage of Hades and boiling blood. The boy looks like he might cry when he eyes Hyunjin from five feet above, his nose growing redder with each second he stares; Hyunjin can only guess he looks like the Gods’ greatest mistake, tattered and beat up. He had to have been running for two days, right? Something like that. He never looked back. He didn’t know where he was, or who may have followed him, and he hopes this boy can give him answers.

 

And then the boy with blazing hair speaks, “are you alright?” He stutters over his first word as if he’d never spoken before. “Can you speak?”

 

Hyunjin doesn’t think he can, his throat is sore and it’d felt like it was full of blood two hours back, but he tries. “Yes.” It’s raspy, and  _ repulsive _ , and in no way what his father would want his voice to sound like.  _ His father _ .

 

“What’s your name? Where are you from?” The boy’s eyes trace him frantically, scanning each part of his face for a millisecond each, going back and forth, back and forth, hundreds of times in three minutes.

 

“Hwang Hyunjin of Haaumos.”

 

“You’ve come all the way from Haaumos?” disbelief is in his voice, painfully coating his words.

 

Hyunjin nods. The boy reaches his hand out to help him up. He takes it, as anyone would, and the boy guides him about twenty minutes out.

 

“I’m Felix,” the boy says, “of Astydia.”

 

Hyunjin tries his best to smile. His mother would scold him on his poise, he decides she’d say  _ “Compose yourself, Hyunjin. A pr—” _

 

“Are you okay to keep walking?” The concern in his voice is perturbing.

 

“Yes.”

 

When they arrive to where Felix resides, a  _ kingdom _ , he immediately starts for the castle. While Hyunjin is being dragged by his wrist he stares out at the lamps, all large and burning brightly, he assumes they’re oil. He didn’t have oil in his kingdom. Guards greet him cheerfully, and ask Felix who he is, Felix gives a brief reply of “lost boy” and the guards nod.

 

He steps in via a cobble bridge and Felix starts calling “father” in an alarmingly loud voice. He tells Hyunjin to sit in any bench he prefers. His father would be a while, probably—he was. After another twenty minutes Felix’s father comes around a corner, dressed in a, largely yellow, king’s suit, eyes dark and unforgiving. Hyunjin expected this, for him to be turned in to another king. 

 

“Who is this?” His father asks, tone almost as cold as his skin must be.

 

“Hyunjin of Haaumos. I found him in the woods, he’s lost.” Felix replies as soft and sweet as he can manage. Hyunjin’s mind likens it so some type of pudding.

 

His father tells him to leave, but Felix refuses. His argument is that Hyunjin  _ cannot _ be alone, one can tell by his state. King Lee, as he’s been introduced, continues to tell him he’s to leave immediately, but felix persists. Hyunjin says nothing, but he agrees with Felix. He can’t be alone, not at this moment.

 

Felix wins him over, then Hyunjin is shown the boys’ quarters, where six decently dressed boys avoid eye contact by staring into an empty fireplace. It’s nice, spacious covered in a weird glossy white stone and, at the very least, fifteen beds. He’s told that he’s to live there until his family comes.

 

He’s shown a bathing room where Felix politely tells him to bathe—as expected of a  _ bathing _ room—he’s given new clothes and undergarments. Felix sits just outside the door, leaving the large dark-wooded contraption slightly cracked so he can talk.

 

Hyunjin thanks him best he can, no amount of water can cure his sore throat. The room is grand, grander than a commoners bathing room would be. The countertops holding the water basin are the same polished stone from the boys’ quarters. The porcelain clawfoot tub sits full of warmed water, and he’s astonished. He guesses they’ve called people to fill the tub when he’d arrived.

 

“You’re right,” he says finally. Felix believes it to be a miracle that he speaks and intends on continuing. “I probably shouldn’t be alone.”

 

Felix shrugs, and thought Hyunjin can’t see it he hears it. “You didn’t seem to be in the shape to be on your own just yet.” His voice echoes into the room peacefully.

 

“Thank you.”

 

He hears Felix take in an oddly heavy breath, “What was your status in Haamous? You didn’t seem very surprised when I showed you in.”

 

“I—” Hyunjin pauses, it couldn’t hurt him, truly. It’s not like his truth will ever be just that again. “I was prince.”

 

“That’s also why you didn’t bow?”

 

“No. The guards didn’t. I follow them, so I’d figured I wouldn’t need to.” He coughs, chasing his voice. “I will, if you want me to.”

 

“I don’t see why you’d have to! I mean you are still, by blood, royalty. Though even if you weren’t I’d prefer you not bow. It makes me feel old, people bowing when they see me.” For a moment it feels like they’re sitting next to each other, than Hyunjin hears the slosh of water when he moves.

 

“Old? You’ve got to be nearing your fourteenth winter at  _ least _ . But I do understand that.” 

 

“You have to be, too. We’re the same age?”

 

“Apparently so, yes.” Hyunjin’s voice loses its touch as he remembers the boys’ quarters. “Those kids, why’re they here?”

 

“Oh,” Felix runs his fingers over the roughened edge of the tile in the hallways. “They’re lost. They’ve been lost for ages, most of them. They stay here until they’ve seen their seventeenth winter, then they find somewhere to work, supposing they don’t run off.”

 

“So I’ll be like them?” He asks. “Here until I’m old enough to be told out?” Hyunjin doesn’t enjoy the idea of spending so many months  _ alone _ in a castle three nights away.

 

“Unless your family comes, Hyunjin.” Felix tries.

 

He knocks Felix’s idea down with a simple “They won’t.”

 

Felix doesn’t challenge that. The sentence is nearly a dagger to the throat. He just sits patiently and waits for Hyunjin to exit to lead him out.

 

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

 

Hyunjin awakens the next morning to the sound of a guard, rather sternly, saying to do such. His voice is all too loud, it makes Hyunjin’s head pound unfamiliarly. Felix, though, stands in the hallway, looking cheerier than anyone Hyunjin has ever seen.

 

“Dining hall for breakfast.” Another guard says in a monotonous manner. 

 

Felix ignores him and takes Hyunjin’s arm. He drags him across the castle into a little garden area, where vines seem to be the number one crop. He’s gotten “good food” as he calls it, a silvered platter of what looks to be strawberries and a plethora of meat.

 

“Why’re you doing this?” Asks Hyunjin. “I’ve only been here a day—not even. You’re so kind, and for what reason?” He hopes he doesn’t seem too rude by the way his face scrunches when he says ‘reason’. It’s just so  _ awfully  _ confusing.

 

“You aren’t the same as the other boys. You  _ talk _ to me, even if you can’t manage. They mainly ignore me and give me blatantly dirty looks, some of them have been here since I was going on  _ nine _ .” He wiggles a little, rips a slice of bread he hid in his pocket in two, and hands one half to Hyunjin. “The last bit doesn’t matter, though.”

 

Hyunjin nods and eats his bread. “They’re probably scared.”

 

The garden is peaceful, entirely green with random colours spread across an endless area.  One could hear birds chirp from ages away, Hyunjin thinks.

 

Felix walks him back to the boys’ quarters he  _ then  _ learns what he’ll be doing during his stay. He’s the freedom to roam at any hour that isn’t working hours, and he’s pleased when he finds out he’ll be working in the garden. He’s a bit suspicious, it’s something of a fairytale almost, getting his newfound favourite area assigned to him as a place of work.

 

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

 

Hyunjin doesn’t think he’ll ever grow tired on the garden. He’s lost track of time during four consecutive weeks. His time is spent with an amazing amount of herbs and fruits, and, surprisingly, Felix. Felix has grown on him in his stay, he’ll met Hyunjin occasionally whilst he works. He’s gotten sweeter, and maybe a bit funnier as well.

 

On some day early October he meets Felix in his bedroom—via following a horrifically drawn map.

 

“You’re basically an expert at sneaking out.” Felix says, twirling as he opens the door after Hyunjin knocks thrice over.

 

“I’ve had my fair share of  _ friends _ that required sneaking out to talk with.” 

 

“And that’s how you knew to outthink the guards I’d assume?”

 

“Right you are, Felix, my dear.” The light illuminating the room from his half-dead candle lit lamp isn’t nearly enough to allow Hyunjin to properly see Felix’s face. He finds it odd how quickly he’d adjusted to Felix, he’d wake up confused some days, but with Felix lingering near the doorway he’d always remember. “But they mainly didn’t care, I think.”

 

“You’ve probably passed by the guard I’m closest with. He doesn’t mind you coming by, I guess. I talk about you to him a lot.” He grins a bit, diminutive by the looks of it. Small with the corners upturned like a W that’s been stretched out to be soft. 

 

“You don’t say?” 

 

“I  _ do _ . Does that sound queer? You’re interesting and he listens enough, thought he barely talks. He thinks I fancy you, I bet.” 

 

“Do you fancy  _ him _ ?” 

 

“No! Not a chance, I just consider him a friend, I’m  _ fond _ of him. He doesn’t even have a name that he lets me call him. Father calls him Knight Bang, but I’ve given him the alias Uriah.” 

 

“Knight Uriah, guard of the prince Felix.” Hyunjin mimes swinging a sword. “It fits his appearance?”

 

“I can’t be sure, I don’t believe he’s allowed to show his face anymore.” Felix runs a hand across his yellowed white duvet. “Besides, it’d fit him no matter his face.”

 

“You’re probably right. Perhaps aliases are your strong suit. If being a prince doesn’t work out you should pick names for guards.”

 

Felix laughs feebly, “Perhaps I will.” 

 

Felix and Hyunjin continue to talk, counting on their fingers how many different guards they’ve encountered for nearly an hour before they decide Hyunjin should go to sleep. It’s not spoken loud enough, their goodbye; it’s barely spoken at all. After all, would one say goodbye if they’re going to see someone again the next day?

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

 

By their fifteenth winter, all the lost boys were gone. Most had outgrown the age limit, some families had eventually come and gathered their sons, and the rest had run. Hyunjin didn’t understand why they’d ran, but he didn’t have to.

 

He was the only boy left in the boy’s quarters for four months, and it didn’t seem like any more would come soon, so Felix started sneaking in. At night he’d go to a specific guard, knight Lee—whom he’d given the alias Valentine to—who’d always nod and wave at Hyunjin. Felix swore he’d no connection to Valentine by blood, he was just close to Uriah, who had agreed to help Felix sneak around at night. He would always lay next to Hyunjin on his visits, and when he hadn’t visited whilst Hyunjin was working, he’d talk for hours, maybe. Sometimes he’d just sleep, curled up to Hyunjin like the stray cats that roamed the outside of the castle in his arms. He always knew when Felix was tired, Hyunjin may have laboured, but Felix was ground to a pulp with work for a future king. Hyunjin always thought it was cruel to work a fifteenth winter to the point of exhaustion over nothing but rules. Sometimes he wondered if he’d have been worked that hard if he’d been able to stay in Haaumos. He wonders if he’d even be alive.

 

Some night, when Felix’d been especially tired, he’d asked Hyunjin why he ran away from his kingdom—his status. Hyunjin simply said he had to. He felt Felix turn around to look at him properly, face nearly on his shoulder.

 

“Then what happened? For you to have run a two day’s course, something must’ve happened.”

 

Hyunjin has recalled each little detail one day in the garden, he hadn’t let the thoughts slip since.

 

So he speaks, “we were under some sort of attack. It was late, ungodly late. Lots of people had hated my father, I was never told why. He wasn’t  _ evil _ , he understood war and his kingdom’s needs. He was a good king. But someone set fire to the castle and most of the village.” He breathes, slightly raspy and feels Felix shift again. He continues, “I only really remember my mother yelling run from the doorway of my bedroom, so I took off through the last open exit. I didn’t look back, obviously, that’s why I’m here.”

 

He half expects Felix to say something dumb to lighten whatever darkened atmosphere he’d created, only he doesn’t. Felix just stays quiet and moves to hug him. It’s an awkward, uncomfortable hug, but it’s there, and it’s needed.

 

After a prolonged moment of silence, Felix mumbles a soft “I’m sorry.”

 

Hyunjin isn’t sure why he said it or why the apology feels genuine, as if he’d been the reason for Hyunjin’s escape.

 

“Hey, don’t be. If it hadn’t have happened we’d have never met, and that’d be an awful reality.”

 

He feels Felix smile against the harsh fabric of his shirt’s shoulder. “You’re good at doing that sort of thing.”

 

“What sort of thing?”

 

“Finding good stuff.” He rubs his forehead on Hyunjin’s shoulder and he can’t help but wince a bit at the contact.

 

“You do that, too, but better.” Hyunjin counters. “You’re the king of it.”

 

“I don’t believe you.” His voice gets slower and deeper than his normal octave, defiance not enough to keep his conscience aloft. 

 

“You don’t have to.” He feels Felix move once again, this time laying his head on Hyunjin’s chest and flattening himself against Hyunjin’s figure. Felix’s muscles relax and his breathing slows. “You know you can’t stay here.”

 

“But I want to.” Whispers Felix.

 

“Your father—”

 

“Who cares what he thinks. Or does, for that matter. I don’t want to leave.”

 

“And  _ I _ don’t want him to throw you out, or hurt you.” This is a fear that’s manifested in Hyunjin since their meetings started a year ago. Sneaking in and out of their rooms to meet each other, he figured it’s inevitable that one day they’d reap what they’ve sown. 

 

“He won’t, I promise.” Felix draws a Z on Hyunjin’s chest. “I’ll slip back into my room before he wakes. I already asked Valentine to wake me mid night so I can sneak back.” 

 

“Okay,” Hyunjin pulls him just a tiny bit closer. “Okay.”

 

Hyunjin wakes up the next morning alone, a dent in his bed from Felix’s weight. He smiles, knowing Felix stayed a little bit longer than he’d said. He spends the rest of that day alone in the garden, Valentine staying near the entrance to the castle, he thinks Felix asked him to stay there (he’s probably right). 

 

The day goes by in a flash, as does the next two. Hyunjin barely remembers doing anything but Felix visiting the second day, he can’t recall most of the days. It’s night before he knows it, and the garden is a lot lonelier then, when the birds don’t chirp and it’s oh-so cold. He goes there on night that Felix doesn’t visit. 

 

Only this night he doesn’t. He follows the directions to Felix’s room that’ve been engraved into his mind over the year. So now, this night, he goes there. Felix always tell him to find Uriah, Uriah who always holds some type of fruit—usually a strawberry—Uriah who gives him a little nod each time. Recently they’ve come up with a right-to-pass word, Felix insisted it be “defy” since that’s all that they do, so Hyunjin agreed. He finds Uriah, whispers defy, and gets a nod as a reply. He’s done this so many times it’s nearly second nature, though Felix is probably better at finding him.

 

Hyunjin knocks thrice, as he was instructed to do one winter ago. There’s no patience in his rhythm anymore, he’s cold, and tired, and slightly irritable from the cooks’ yelling day in and day out. He knows Felix can clear his mind, as he always does, Felix is almost another form of rain. Felix is even quicker in his response, he cracks the door in a flash, smiling bright as the sun. Hyunjin believe’s this impatience is what it means to be teen aged.

 

He falls into some sort of wonderful trance when he meets Felix’s new, purple coloured velvet sheets. Their limbs already intertwined in the oddest hug ever, a hello-I’m-sorry embrace, one that signifies longing. They were both busy all day, and this single embrace does everything to mend the large crack of longing that spread itself over three days. They roll in their entanglement, giggling themselves near mad. The action lasts half a minute, one thirty-six-hundredth of an hour. 

 

They sit upright almost in an unspoken spell of synchronisation, it’s not awkwardly abrupt, but it’s prominent in speed. There’s a weird warmth coating the inside of their mouths that travels through their throats as if it were a drink. Neither really understands when they share the same glance with a glint in eye, neither really  _ mis _ understands when they connect their lips in one swift movement, a millisecond of shared skin, then an easy pull away (or not-so-pull-away, as their faces remain three centimetres apart).

 

Felix giggles even more when Hyunjin says “I missed you.” The words dewy on his lips, or perhaps that’s from Felix.

 

Felix wouldn’t dare say it aloud, but he’d love to kiss Hyunjin again. He’d do it a million times over if Hyunjin asked him.

 

Hyunjin only realises he’s made a grave mistake when he awakens the next day in an ocean of purple next to messy blaze of orange and golden fleece coloured skin. Amidst the warmth and welted feelings Hyunjin hadn’t thought to leave. He’s grateful for the little golden laced light weighing in on the prettily places tiles of Felix’s room, it signifies that he’s been saved. He’ll explain to Felix what happened once they meet again (Felix won’t need one, but he’ll do it just in case).

 

He slips into the hall, where Uriah stands his ground. Hyunjin nods, a question of ‘did anyone notice’, Uriah’s head shakes, a satisfactory reply.

 

By the time he’s in the boys’ quarters the moon has finally bid his goodbyes and the sun has said her hello’s. He assumes he’s another half hour of rest before he’s to wake up for the second time by a messy haired Felix beckoning him to the garden.

 

Only he’s wrong. 

 

There’s absolutely no Felix in the morning, so when Valentine comes to tell him breakfast is ready he declines. Hyunjin’s thoughts go entirely dark. The mere idea of the punishment they may face if word ever surfaced that they’d snuck around, much less slept in the same bed or kissed. They’d have both feet in damnation by their own kingdom, truly, and Felix would get the absolute worst of it. So he’s more than happy to see a familiar red-orange glow pattern his way down the path of the garden, sleepily scouring for Hyunjin. It saves him the scare. 

 

He nearly gasps out an brief expression of his gratitude for Felix’s arrival the second their eyes meet.

 

“What?” Felix asks, confusion parading around his head.

 

“I thought you’d gotten hurt.” He wishes not to elaborate on that fact, and is thankful he doesn’t have to.

 

Felix attaches himself to Hyunjin’s hip and sighs, “No. I stayed save. I was utterly cold, but safe.” 

 

“I didn’t  _ want _ to leave you, honest, but—”

 

“I know you didn’t, you don’t need to explain.” He’s enthralled by the way Felix’s voice gets a tiny bit higher with each word, the pout on his lips as he holds onto Hyunjin just a bit tighter. “Can I help today?”

 

Hyunjin can’t help but slightly grin, “of course, always.”

 

The day he decides to pick us quite awful, it’s the day he’s to get herbs for the kitchen and clinic. Felix mustn’t know that this is the  _ worst _ of all days.

  
  


Hyunjin re-evaluates his entire understanding of his relationship with Felix once he’s carrying in his second basket of Lamb’s Ears for the clinic. Now that he thinks of it, he’s never seen someone connect their lips with another unless it means something. He doesn’t know if this means something. He can’t decode the nuance of this singular action caused by two night-drunken teen aged men, he can’t grasp if Felix was sure of himself when he did it. Maybe he’s mental. 

 

But Felix  _ is _ confusing sometimes, and heavens knows that drags Hyunjin six feet under thousands of times.

 

By noon they’re done, and somehow Hyunjin is still waist deep in his thoughts. 

 

They trek across the halls stalking their way down to Felix’s room, where they’ll most likely spend an hour doing absolutely nothing. For some reason, Felix is remarkably tired the moment he’s less than thirty centimetres away from his bed. He can’t get enough of the rich purple duvet, Hyunjin believes it’s the best colour, the way it battles his skin and melts with his soil coloured eyes, it swallows his rosy cheeks and it kisses his ardent hair. 

 

Felix is basically asleep in less than a minute, or maybe it’s been longer. Felix is incoherently mumbling about how lonely it is and Hyunjin combats that with how dirty his clothes on—all because he dug out most of the herbs whilst Felix took them to the kitchen—to which Felix says, “there are plenty of clothes you can wear of mine!”

 

“You’re smaller than me,” Hyunjin challenges.

 

“I wear everything larger than it’s supposed to be.”

 

So Hyunjin gives up and gives in, he’s beat. Felix shoves his hands over his eyes and says, “okay, go.”

 

It’s absurd, changing clothes midday, thought it’s even  _ more _ absurd when he realises Felix hasn’t a smudge on his on his day clothes. He throws on some piece of clothing that seems to be silken and prettily coloured white, to which he finds a matching set of bottoms.

 

“Okay…” Hyunjin hesitates. It feels way too thin to be actual clothes, but it apparently is. Felix uncovers his eyes and gives the dopiest half-grin to ever grace his fine lips. He stretches out his arms and makes a grabbing motion like a baby. Hyunjin complies, of course, how couldn’t he?

 

“These feel silly.” Complains Hyunjin, wrapping his arms around Felix’s torso.

 

“You just dislike them because they’re cold. You look like a real prince in them.” He nearly chuckles at Felix’s remark.

 

“You  _ are _ a real prince. I  _ was  _ one.”

 

“That doesn’t mean you look any less the part!” Felix pouts, “your arms are also really oddly strong.”

 

“Archery has been paying off, has it not?”

 

“It has.” 

 

Felix hums and is out like a candle in the wind in less than a few seconds; Hyunjin isn’t as easy. He stays awake, alert. Recently he’s felt more weary about his actions and how they may affect the boy whom he treasures most. 

  
  


There’s a knock on his door near an hour later and Hyunjin almost jumps out of his skin, he quickly sheds the borrowed clothes and shoves on his dirtied ones and answers the door.

 

“Yes?” He answers in a whisper, careful not to disturb Felix’s slumber. 

 

Hyunjin absolutely despises the voice that comes from the other end.

 

“Hwang?” 

 

It was only a matter of time before this happened, he tells himself. Felix’s father, King Lee, finding something out about them, or being suspicious of their friendship. He opens the door entirely, and bows.

 

“Your Majesty.”

 

“Why’re you in my son’s room, Hwang?” His voice hasn’t gotten any warmer since he met him. In the year Hyunjin’s lived in the castle he’s noticed each time he speaks to the king his voice gets icy.

 

“He asked me to make sure he didn’t oversleep, sire.” 

 

King Lee looks unimpressed, he looks as if he can smell the lies like perfume. He stands, waiting for Hyunjin to continue speaking, his arms crossed over his torso.

 

When Hyunjin doesn’t speak, he sighs angrily, “may I speak with him?” It’s no request, there’s no reason for him to make it  _ sound _ like one.

 

“Of course.” Hyunjin reluctantly makes his way to where Felix lies. Holding his breath slightly, he gently shakes Felix’s shoulder.  “Felix. Felix wake up.” He coaxes. “Your father is here to see you.”

 

Felix shields his face with one hand and pushes at Hyunjin’s arm with the other, mumbling something like ‘no’.

 

“Felix come on,” Hyunjin’s voice goes into a whisper, soft like soil after rain. “Get up, dear.  _ Please _ .”

 

“Fine,” his voice is resonant, deeper than it was earlier, more agitated than he usually is with his father. “What do you need so desperately, father?” Hyunjin’s fearful Felix may do something dense in his half-minded state, fearful he may get himself in immense trouble with the one who‘s kept him afloat all these years.

 

“I don’t wish to speak to you in front of  _ him _ .” King Lee gestures towards Hyunjin with one finger, Felix resists rolling his eyes.

 

Hyunjin only nods and leaves the room, keeping the door cracked just slim enough to where he can see in, but Felix and his father can’t see out.

 

“Why mustn't he know what goes on in my life? Shouldn’t he have  _ some _ insight. He’s my friend.” His voice is muffled through the thick dark wood, even with the door opened a bit. 

 

“You can’t just sleep away your days, Felix.” His father ignores him, “You have duties. You know this.”

 

“I _ don’t _ . I was working in the gardens this morning, with Hyunjin. Because I  _ wanted _ to.” His words have a bite like wolves to prey. 

 

“You shouldn’t.” His father remains still, arms now resting at his side. His temper’s stable but Felix feels he could burst any moment. Felix knows he’s been doing his second-best in his duties, paying attention replaced with insignificant daydreams. 

 

Felix remains sitting, legs crossed, hands folded. “Why not?” His voice makes him sound apoplectic.

 

“Because you’re—”

 

“A prince? That’s quite obvious, father, and I’d like to be a decent prince. I’d like to also do  _ normal _ tasks to  _ connect _ with my kingdom.”

 

Felix watches his father’s arm tense, calculating his words and how hard they may bite. His father isn’t a bad person, he’s sure if it, he just has a temper and no idea how to speak to someone. Felix hates it, he knows there’s millions of different things putting pressure on him, and he knows if he weren’t a king he’d be the best man alive.

 

“What would your mother say?” 

 

The words escape into the air and Hyunjin watches Felix’s face, waiting for a reaction. It doesn’t come.

 

“I don’t know. You  _ know _ I don’t know. I was left at your feet when I was five.” Felix’s looks make more sense once he says that. His father is fairer, he doesn’t ever darken no matter the hours spent in the sun. His hair is black, in contrast with Felix’s royal orange colour. “Now, if you’d go. I haven’t any duties for two more days.”

 

Hyunjin steps aside to make way for the king, his face still unfazed like before. He hesitates stepping back into Felix’s room, but forces himself to.

 

“Felix?” Hyunjin’s voice comes out more apologetic than he’d enjoy. “Are you…” He trails. He doesn’t know what he wants to ask, there’s so much  _ to _ ask.

 

“Yes, if course. It’s not like I’ve any memory of her, you know. He just seems to believe I have a bit of her soul in me, or that I know what she’d want even after she fled.” He shrugs and gestures for Hyunjin to join him again, this time he doesn’t care about his clothes being dirty. 

 

They sleep until Uriah knocks signaling dinner.

 

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

 

Months keep passing by like leaves in the winter, one after another a never ending spiral. 

 

There’s one evening where Felix has nothing to do and Hyunjin finishes his duties early, so they meet in Felix’s room on an unspoken promise. It’s the first time in what feels like years that Hyunjin can ask what’s been on his mind. Felix is wide awake, aware, he’s spent weeks learning rules and ways to  _ sit _ and how to address those below him in status, he’s in dire need of a topic change. Not even late nights got him by in those weeks, he’d fall asleep instantaneously.

 

“Felix,” Hyunjin’s voice has gotten softer and deeper in comparison to Felix’s, which got raspier with every passing day. “Do you happen to remember that night we…” his voice trails as he tries to gather what exactly it was. “We kissed?”

 

Those words feel lengthy once they escape his mouth.  _ Kissed _ . It seems unrealistic, like he’s imagined the whole thing. 

 

“Yes,”

 

The smell of burning oil overpowers everything in the room, he doesn’t remember when that change was made.

 

“Why did you kiss me back? Or, why did  _ we _ … why was it initiated?” Everything he says feels sticky, embarrassing almost. Hyunjin wants nothing more than to bury his head so far under a duvet that he pops out the other end as a worm would in soil. “It’s just that no one else does that, unless it means something very specific. I’m just confused.”

 

“Because I wanted to,” Felix sounds unsure of his words, to be truthful he’s  _ very _ unsure of how he should put what’s in his mind. “I mean, it felt right, like it was supposed to happen. Did it make you uncomfortable?”

 

The last bit hangs in the air, Felix can see Hyunjin’s eyes sweeten. He watches a slight smile come across his face.

 

“No, no it didn’t. I just didn’t understand. I quite liked it, if you wanted me to be completely honest.”

 

“I did.”

 

The rest of their conversation is left unsaid, they spend the rest of the day cooped up playing guessing games of how many types of plants they think are in the garden, and just how many crown jewels a king must have before he’s considered wealthy. Neither sees the reason to leave, to  _ ever _ leave. Even if it may cost so much. 

 

Hyunjin’s seventeenth birthday will come soon, and with that will come Felix’s, both days will be full of unforgeable amounts of happiness and hope...

 

_ Maybe _ .

 

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

 

“Oh, the age of seventeen. It  _ cannot _ come soon enough.” Felix says with a hint of distaste. He’s learned recently that growing isn’t for him, it’s too fast—Hyunjin learned this years ago. 

 

“It’ll be fun, love. You’re an heir, you’ll be king soon! You can create the perfect kingdom, I guarantee.” Hyunjin puts his hands on Felix’s shoulders, the latter scoffs. “Oh, come on. If I’m wrong you can have my firstborn son.”

 

“As if you’d have children! I don’t take empty promises,  _ dear _ .” He scrunches his face. It’s true, Hyunjin won’t. There’s a very good reason for that, Felix  _ knows _ it.  _ He’s _ the reason for it.

 

“Blah, of course you do.” Hyunjin spreads himself among Felix, covering him like a blanket that’s just a few inches too big. Times like these are more frequent now that they’ve grasped their reality. He takes Felix’s hand in his own, listens to his heartbeat. 

 

Felix takes it upon himself to kiss Hyunjin’s hand, as he would. “You’re wonderful, you know.” 

 

“You’re  _ better _ .” 

 

“I don’t believe anything could surpass you.” His voice is genuine, like the taste of citrus on meat, delightful.

 

It’s late, as it always is. It’s funny how since they’d become acquainted with each other their evergrowing relationship was reduced to very  _ illegal _ activity, in the eyes of the law. 

 

“Are you ever worried?” This question had slipped up a few times when Hyunjin was tired, much like it slips up in his own mind when Felix doesn’t show up in the garden on his off days.

 

“Yes, quite a lot.” Felix looks at Hyunjin with the strength of a thousand soldiers, it’s marvellous how a few feelings can change a man.

 

“When we first started these meetings, I promised myself I’d never let you get hurt because of them. I intend to keep that.” He isn’t sure why Felix would need to know that, but he says it: he says it with confidence of his future, of the outcome of them. 

 

“I won’t, I promise.” He believes that with all his heart.

 

Hyunjin lie still, his head perfectly placed over Felix’s heart. Felix calls them late night lovers, something that can’t be shown to others, a never-ending rendezvous. 

 

They’ve become careless, in their relations; Hyunjin leaves late, or almost doesn’t leave in time. Uriah has saved them many times, only he’s not out tonight, Valentine isn’t either. This, this mistake, one caused by drowsiness and second nature, is worse than any mistake. 

  
  


The commotion comes so late it’s almost early. It’s fuzzy in Hyunjin’s mind, his memory reduced to that of a blind man’s, and Felix’s no better. There’s a guard, he yells Felix’s name and then Hyunjin’s, and eerie patina of hate in his voice that’s barely noticeable. He pulls Hyunjin off Felix and rushes Felix out, the door to his room slams so hard it nearly shakes Hyunjin inside out. 

 

He doesn’t see Felix again after that, not at night, not in the garden. He only sees him roaming the hall in the afternoons reciting something. No one speaks to Hyunjin of the incident, no guard,  _ definitely  _ not the king, absolutely no one. The cooks and the maids look at him with sorrow, as if he were a corpse being prepared for burial. He knows what happened. He won’t admit it, never will he admit it.

 

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

 

Hyunjin is  _ almost  _ sure Felix’s memory has been erased by the second month of this nonsense. No matter how many times Hyunjin smiles and says hello will he acknowledge him. 

 

By the third month Felix’s birthday comes, and it  _ stings _ . It stings where no insect could reach, where absolutely no one should be able to hurt. He sees Felix celebrate at night in his room, by then he’s a mistress. Someone shorter than he is with ginger hair that’s brighter than his own, Hyunjin knows he dislikes that, he keeps it to himself. 

 

Hyunjin watches the disgust grow in his face when they kiss in the garden or when she holds his hand. He can tell he hates it, but he watches. 

 

He blames himself mainly, for Felix’s misfortune, if he would’ve been more careful all those nights, but deep down he knows this is what was going to happen anyways. 

 

By the ten month mark he’s still refused to give up any hope he has had about Felix’s return to his rightful spot in his arms. Maids still give him sad looks, some eye him knowingly, and others show interest, all of which he brushes off. Hyunjin would rather die old and alone than old and unhappy.

 

Felix’s mistress disappears by the twelfth month’s marking date. Hyunjin works himself carefully in the garden—still—as well as in the kitchen as now. He’s his own room in the castle, too, since he’s to live there for as long as he’s working for the king. 

 

The king who is soon to be Felix.

 

Felix, whose coronation is days away by this month, Felix who miraculously disposed of the awful red-headed woman, Felix who lingers minutes longer in the garden, Felix who appears outside of Hyunjin’s room with a singular pink flower and a note of apology.

Felix, whom Hyunjin never doubted. He grins, and Felix giggles. Just like they had before. 

 

There they end up rightfully in each others’ arms, as the Gods had intended.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry if the ending seemed RUSHED i literally wrote it at five am because i couldn’t sleep. this fic was very much inspired by the song of achilles by madeline miller Please Read It if u can u will NOT regret it it’s so amazing !!!
> 
> also big props to maddie for guessing who Uriah was on the first try !! i believe she’s some sort of medium 
> 
> hmu on [twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/iridescpiss)


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